Someone will contact you, Podophiles, at the specified time and place. They will give you the prompt: Where has Kris been? You MUST reply with this EXACT passphrase, or you will be killed on the spot: Butt contest. Davey at the dentist. Dave’s Trainer. Are we bad at robots? How Would Mrs. E. use our boy parts? RUFFIGANS!? Kris’s Nakey-cakes.
Podophiles, what is the best part of waking up? Is it egg? Is it horse? Is it finding out, after all these episodes, that Joel is dumb? Is it heating up a Ney York slice in the Michaelwave? Is it deciding, once and for all, what TRUE masculinity is? Is it proving that skaters are the same as jocks, or shopping for off-brand Halloween costumes? Is it having ONE FINAL CONFRONTATION WITH ROY, WHERE THE OUTCOME WILL DECIDE THE ULTIMATE FATE OF THE BOYS (at least for this episode)?!?!?!? Nah, it’s coffee.
Hey, Podophiles. How you doin’? The Boys™ are blissed the FUCK out. This episode is all chill vibes, no stress, taking it down a notch, and most of all CHILL VIBES. Nuzzle into your couch, eat a sandwich bag full of nondescript pills and learn the special skills of each boy, while they turn Explosm into an AirBnB… I mean, HELP Mr. Explosm with his plan to reclaim his company.
WHERE HAVE THE BOYS™ BEEN?!?!?! It’s a mystery… myster...e...MISTER… E?! Dun Dun DUHHHHHH! Also: Clothes as big as you, Beauty & The Beast on the first day of the curse, IKEA Furniture fornication, and casting Boys™ (especially Rob) in movies.
Shaving accidents! Ed Sheeran body pillows! Dave sucks at French! Mindhumper?! YES! All of that, plus a build up of sexual whale energy. The Boys™ also dig into classic literature this week in an effort to stave off whatever Roy’s grand scheme is.
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