We know it's a super lame holiday but it's happening so suck it up. Give a red happy or sleazy plushy and a "romantic" card to that special someone, then just wait for the magic to happen. Or snuggle up to a happy or sleazy all by your lonesome and let their giant plushy heads soak up all your tears. Don't worry, it's just one day. You can go back to spreading cynicism and hate on February 15.
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